I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
