I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Did I show you my penis last night?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
