I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
