It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
