I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
