Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Bring me that man meat
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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