I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
