just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize