i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i was born a porn star she said
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
