# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just invented taco cereal.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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