What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
