Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
