She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
