South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
