Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
