# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
