i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
