How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize