What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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