No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
