i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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