captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
