is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Terrible idea I love it
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize