What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
