and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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