I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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