u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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