where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
then he tried to convert me to islam
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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