so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize