Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
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