Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize