@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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