Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
