just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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