i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize