I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
