Your face is a jimmy john
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
