just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
