I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Someone stole a lamp last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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