Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
