Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
