can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
