I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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