Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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