The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
