I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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