then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i already hear my dad disowning me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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