hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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