but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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