did you get engaged???
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
