worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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