so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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