i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
