is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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