i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
