i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
