P.S. I can't hear my feet
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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