what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
try to milk me bitch
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
