I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize