I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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