Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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