Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
