why didn't you poke me back
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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