White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize