Porn is love you can see.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
