He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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