Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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