somebody snuck up and got me drunk
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
please come you make the beer taste better
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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