just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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