fuck your aforementioned shoe
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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