First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
