I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
