This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
