Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
